A 52 year old, turns 25 today !

Good morning Bandhu.. Today's date is interesting for me..... On 8th of July 1992... Which is 25 years back.. I hopped off at the Borivili station from the Jammu Tawi express from Delhi,with some possessions and many dreams ...

Over these 25 years, I have treaded varied paths, gone on journeys and played some roles and met some people.. all of which has contributed to me being here.... 

Each of these jottings that I shall share during this 25th year of my professional career, is my Alshukran to them.... Starting today...

I am an actor... I play many roles... I am a person... I play MANY MORE roles... 

Each role that we play has centrality and an importance... If only we realise it.

Just as roles define the journey,many a time its the journey which determines the role... 

And there are quite a few journeys that we take during our life, each offering us an unique role .. Some beckon and we join in willingly .. Like Buying membership of Club Mahindra, a road trip to Kochi, a trek to Machu pichu, or a drive to Mylaari Mysore for their unique dosa, kind of journey.. A Burrp, Yahooo role ... 

And then there are journeys that we are a part of, just by virtue of being where we are... Earning our living, paying our bills, Searching colleges for kids education, holding our breath watching GST play out ..... These are the kind of journeys and the consequent roles, which are thrust upon us.. whether we want to play them or not,we are part of these journeys ... 

The roles in such of journeys require us to, amongst other things, keep in touch with the Chartered Accountant, listening to anyone who has a worried look and displays signs of financial and economic insights... And Also chatting up with anyone painting a grim picture of everything, while quoting GDP s and economic indices which we have no interest or wherewithal to check on. 

Different journeys... Different roles.. What's common in them? The actor... You. 

How will it be if we can see that each of these journeys is actually in contribution to our life journey.. So if we are choosing to "Suffer" in even one of these journeys, we actually are adding suffering to our lives itself.

But there is hope... For thankfully, we are around... For its WE who have the ability to make a shift in how WE are relating to OUR ROLES during each of THESE JOURNEYS ...

When we RECOGNIZE, that the so called "have to" and "Duty filled " kind of roles that we play in our life,actually are just as much a part of us.. Then we can choose to embrace those roles too... With a smile and enthusiasm. So the 43c shoots in Hyderabad, the 6am drives to report for work, the doing the "Same role again and again" kind of self whipping syndrome ... All this becomes part of the big game, which also includes spending time with family and friends and surprise breakfast breakins to wake up the late risers and discuss GST with them (What else!! ) ... 

So even as we do the Mundane... Remember, we do so in service of the Mazaa, the leisure that it affords others and us...

That thought itself brings a smile to my face, an inquisitiveness to my demeanour, which in turn adds a sprinkling of fun and a Tadka of joy, which ensures some laughter and Cheer around ... 

And in no time,what was earlier mundane.. Now turns into another interesting day of contribution, thankfulness and Cheer .... 

Many roles.. Many journeys..and each having amazing possibilities.. Let's bring wonder and celebration to each of them..

For ONE LIFE WE HAVE ... Let's make the most of it... And CELEBRATE IT by CONTRIBUTING TO LIFE ITSELF ... 

Alshukran Ma, Baba... Alshukran Zindagi! 

A Sodium Sunrise..Since it rained last night !

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And then Anna happened...

As I shared with friends about how children too are joining in to participate in Anna Hazare's movement, one of them raised the following point...
"it is sad that we are getting these children to do this and get involved at an age when they do not even understand the what they are doing this for."

She got me thinking...

Over the past few months, our son Arth has been asking me questions like, Baba what is Scam ? And Why do politicians scam?

I never could engage with him as even though I would share with him the lives of my father and Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, I knew I was needing to refer to a DISTANT(nearly textbook) past while trying to prop a future....I was truly resigned to the situation..

And then Anna happened..

I know he was "happening' for decades, in the hinterlands and once every 6months in an op ed or page 6 single column of mainstream media...But for me,he was part of a list of idealistic isolated mavericks like Kharnar,Seshan or an Arun Bhatia...Who tried..but were effectively marginalized by the system..

And then Anna happened...in our face...

He landed in Delhi,went to Rajghat and then settled down at Jantar Mantar.

He took over the the front pages of the most expensive fourth estates of India,took over the prime time slots of the the most watched channels,captured the voice of all who were Indian, from Chennai to New Jersey and from Srinagar to Cambridge and suddenly we saw a phenomenon...

The Pro Congress allying with the Pro BJP allying with the Pro Left allying with the Pro this and the Pro that...ALL TOGETHER, in ONE VOICE joining up for the fight against something which has bruised all, bled all,across all denominations,party alegiance,personal beliefs,faiths,regions and creed...CORRUPTION.

Anna had happened...Looking straight into our eyes...saying all that we always knew.

And I had a leader living his ideals,happening in the RIGHT NOW, to share with my son.

I invited 10 year old Arth, to participate in a movement to cleanse the country that his grandfather had fought to free.
I could share a real life with him..One who was living out his message by his actions..I could share with him that I AM INSPIRED by Anna..An Anna who is present today..and making a difference for us all..So that we could take steps to have a Truly free India..

An India,in which we can proudly say that there is a Multi Party Democracy and not meekly murmur that it is a Multi CORRUPT Party system...

We know there are many things we don't share with our kids... may be to protect them from a 'Harsh' reality..and we also should know that there is much that they don't share with us ,to protect us from their reality.....

This morning,even as Pranav Mukherji readies himself to offer a glass of juice to Anna,a ball has been set into motion...A motion which could lead to sweeping changes in each aspect of our life...I see a world of possibilities opening up with the impeccable from the civil society contributing to revitalize our nation to recover from this acute ailment...

I am glad I talked with Arth about issues affecting our nation. He is the future. He should know--

Caesar's wife must be above suspicion...Julius Caesar is supposed to have said this when asked why he divorced his wife,because she was suspected of some wrongdoing.

Let the political parties and the bureaucracy take the cue...

Lok Pal watches..

So do we and our kids..

Thank you Anna,for bridging this gap.

A billion Cheers and love..

A mail,from few days back...

Dost....

I have been following Anna Hazare's movement for the past few days.
It's a citizens movement happening in every town and city.
Today, I along with Pilu and Mowgli will be going to join the sit in at CST BMC office in Mumbai in support for this Jana Lokpal Bill.


You may read in detail in indiaagainstcorruption.org .

This is an invite to you..

The venue in each city are mentioned along with the coordinators numbers on the web site.

indiaagainstcorruption.org

Last night, I shared about Anna Hazare with Mowgli..he had many questions..

While engaging in them.I found..Anna's beliefs are no different from what U & I & our children have..

Anna's movement is about tangible action for ending the Hijacking of India,by th corrupt powerful...

My father fought th British,so that I could live in free India..

Its my turn...our turn now.

Am listening to my little small voice.

This is our moment to say with pride...

I am Tahrir....I am Anna Hazare..I am India.

Cheers

Everything we are not...

A friend shared, how she was glad that she was not...

There are so many things we want so dearly,so desperately...

And then the other day saw a three wheeler tempo,stacked with Blue plastic boxes used to transfer milk packets...

The distance between the point at which the last row of the boxes ended and the half hatch of the vehicle(that stopped the boxes from sliding out) ...Not more than 12inches..

In that space, I saw a woman sitting sideways...Neck down, her body covered from view by the half hatch of the vehicle.

In the bright sun of a Chennai summer morning,she sat mostly still,other than the jerks the body took as the vehicle manouvered through traffic and over crevices on the road.

And then I saw a blob of hair just below her neck..mostly hidden by the hatch,but seen each time the vehicle took a shudder...

It was a child,held to her bosom...The sun, the bumps and the space she was in didnt matter...It was probably nothing new for her..She didnt look alarmed nor hopeful...she was just there..In the midst of her life..taking the jolts...along with her child...unmoved.

I was travelling in an airconditioned vehicle,trailing this picture of life...

I do not have to travel the way this lady was travelling with her child...

Yet I so much seem to want,everything I do not have..

So...Do I really want to have everything I do not have?

A friend shared, how she was glad that she was not...

Can we be thankful for all that we have and all that we are, and reach out to the many,whose condition we are glad not to be in...

Can we?

Ashish

Kids play at Amarampet

Sitting under a giant Peepal 45kms from Chennai,awaiting the camera to be attached to the vacuum base for the car shot..I watch a boy living in a hut close by, playing with a mongrel,probably his pet. His sister watches over, in a purple dress..The dog does not seem to mind all that the boy does to its neck and snout..He keeps wagging its tail..The boy and girl stay in the brown leaf roofed hut,which is by a water body,green with algae and hicynth..The summer has set in here in Amarampet,the election too is in the air..The boy has run away..the dog follows him..There is simplicity and joy in the moment.I still await my shot..wondering if I want to remain pensive.
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When I woke up...

As people get together to travel...I wonder why they met..

Is this the purpose to their meeting or could it be another day in their purposeful life...

Another day...Or A day in their life...

Much like each day in my life, whether crying over spilt milk when I was a child or doing so now over a proverbial one...I know each day has had a purpose...

I may not have seen it then...in my carefree childhood,when my mother used to hold my face and comb my hair,nor do I many a time manage to see it now,when the insurance policies say I am older...

But this morning as I woke up at 3 am...mind buzzing with ideas for the trip that I have planned...I felt awkward...Very awkward...Even sheepish...I am up at 3am...

Not to write the script I say I want to..Nor to exercise...But to jot down some notes for the trip next week...

And probably to resolve...Once and for all...

There is a purpose to all that I do...

I might not be seeing it..But it is there...

I am free...

I will live this moment fully too...Like a man...Not a sheep !

I woke up up at 3am today to jot down some ideas...

This is one of them !

You have an awesome day my friend...WHATEVER YOU DID...WHENEVER YOU WOKE UP !

Cheerios !

Design of life...

Hey..wrote this piece for a journal.

Life for me has been an amazing series of episodes,which have happened when they did.


Clearly,there is a plan...

And all that I need to do,is stop coming in the way of fulfilling it.

I have discovered,that failure and success are but expressions of our judgment,made in the narrow context of immediate wants and needs...

These perceived failures and successes give rise to AHAM...



My AHAM...plays out in various forms..ARROGANCE, HOPELESSNESS, JEALOUSY, RAGE...



Life ironically pays no heed...It keeps flowing...takes its course...inspite of me carrying my baggage of AHAM..It just makes my journey tedious and tiring...

On the other hand,when in moments I manage to flow with life,traveling light,giving a miss to my AHAM...The journey is full of joy,peace and bliss,like how I want my life to be.


A friend of mine shared,'The road is my destination" is what Chilean Highway truckers who spend their life driving up and down Route5 ,the longest highway in the country write on the back of their truck...


I share with you one "millimeter stone" during my drive through highway life...

Since my school days I was clear that I loved acting.

Encouraged by my parents,I participated in theater workshops for children,was doing plays with eminent directors and even traveling to perform...

School plays gave way to productions with professionally trained groups by the time I was studying History in college.

The three college years saw me spending all my post college hours( from 12noon to nearly midnight)with my theater group...rehearsing, and watching plays and films,engaging in discussions,reading classic scripts of films and plays,theater games,working on voice,diction...


I had found my calling...ACTING...I loved it.I was enjoying each moment as I edged towards my goal of joining the National School Of Drama (N.S.D.)

Nothing could keep me away...My parents were supportive,my peers were encouraging,I was preparing for the entrance...Plays,literature,

films,discussions...

And then it happened...I was thrown out of my group.

The group which gave me my existence,my base,my training would have no more of me...I was out.

I was hurt,angry upset and completely vindictive to the point of self destruct...

I said I will never act again and started assisting behind the camera...

This continued for a year...I assisted noted TV producer Vinod dua and documentary maker Mike pandey.

During this time I set my eyes on the Jamia Miliya and its latest addition the course in Mass communication.

My watching numerous films,working with eminent news producers and extensive work in post production gave me a treasure of experience which made my getting admission an absolute walk over.

The first was a written exam which required us to watch a film and answer some questions about the content and the way it was made...This was a basic test to weed out anyone who did not have any interest or had no aptitude towards cinema.

The next was the gruel ling interview with an eminent panel in the form a workshop...This was the crunch test which was to separate the wheat from the chaff to gain entry into the institute.

I was confident in my preparation and my peers and bosses whom I worked with,gave me glowing letters of reference on the basis of how I had worked with them.

The preliminary exam was a cakewalk.

We were shown a film I had seen before,the questions were very simple and I answered with flourish.

Now it was the interview which stood between me and admission and my future as a television producer of shows.

The plan was that we,a group of fellow aspirants would go to Jamia, collect the results of the preliminary test and then go and watch a film and have a discussion on it as a mock for the final interview.


The plan was not to be.

The result showed I had failed in the preliminary basic test,which was meant to test the basic knowledge and aptitude towards films.

I could not believe my eyes..Nor could anyone for whom I had worked with or known me...

Till today I do not know how I failed in that basic test..

But I know I got back to acting,was amongst the 18 selected amidst hundreds who had applied for the NSD..

Today I have made a proffession out of my passion..I spend day in and out with my first love...acting.

There was someone or something 24 years back,which thwarted my desire to self destruct,to choose another profession not because I liked it,but because I was angry with some people.


Over the years I am now consistently present to a design...a design for me and for others around me...

And ever so much I realize each day,I am actually a conduit to fulfill...what I am to fulfill.

I choose it.


Thank you for being with me..

Kodai rain finds Palani

The killing in a principality,led the world to the first of the world wars...The atomic bomb ended the next,but telescoped the reach of an instrument for terror.
The potent H1N1 made sure that even a sneeze had an impact on three quarters of the world...A demolition of two towers in a city hyphenated a "pre and post" that day world..And a volcano with an unpronounceable name, from a country with no known clout,made sure that Billions were lost even without a Maddock Ponzi..

Over the ages,we have seen the catastrophic effects of happenings in one part, impacting far beyond geographical boundaries...

But we have also been blessed by natures bounty...happenings and peoples contribution, far from us..

The rich thinking of spartan yogis of the east have inspired the western civilizations to think beyond the material..The flight of imagination of Greek philosophers when brought to reality by two brothers has flown Drs in the southern hemisphere and put a Hubble in space..
An Albanian found Sainthood in caring for the inconsolably suffering in Asia..While a rich harvest of affordable technology from Asia made the web,truly world wide and available for all..

But for today,I am referring to a much smaller footprint of cause and effect..

A smaller foot print but with joy no less..

Last night it rained in Kodaikanal..and some of that rain found Palani..They know it in these parts as,Kodai rain..

Rain which falls in the cooler climes of elevated Kodai..cools the hot dry plains of Palani..

Small joys...but shared in this beautiful world of ours..

So..Which palani is your rain finding ?

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Distant rain & melody,in Roman.

As we readied ourselves for the night sequence in the bungalow..Our director Jawahar set up a crane shot to capture the exterior lit up for th wedding song, against the blue of the gathering Dusk...
The humidity and heat of the day had given way to a gentle breeze..cool by palani standards.
Since the facade of the house was to be shot,the vanity vans were moved out..so we found sanctuary on the terrace..

And it was here that Nithiyaa Ravindhar sang the songs..

Working over the years in different languages, interacting with cultures variant from any which I may call mine and participating in togetherness with people I meet so often for the 'first' time..I am completely and totally at home,being the outsider.

The love and generosity of my co actors,technicians,the support staff and the extra ordinary creative minds I have met over the last 9yrs of working in various languages,has humbled me.

They have enveloped me as one of their own...who doesn't speak their language.

They have given me amazing roles,many have got for me home cooked food,and books and toys for my child...I also got the opportunity to see nooks of the south,which only a film unit can think of travelling to..and they introduced me to poetry too..from the classic two lined verses from Thirukuraal, to lyrics of Kannadaasa's songs immortalized in classic films, to th poignant word sketches of the popular people's poet Vairamuthhu..

And songs of the Maestro... Illayiraja..from films I had not heard of,or knew about only from their hindi remakes..

Today was such an evening..even as the sky darkened and lightning bolts streaked in the distance..Sitting on the terrace of the shooting bungalow in Palani..Nithiyaa sang compositions of Raja..a lot of them..and then she sang the tamil original of my favourite from the hindi remake Sadma..Surmai ankhion mein..

We will be shooting till late tnite..Its a wedding song..

Dancers flail arms and pump torsos in unision.. there is bonhomie,Cheer and laughter in the air inspite of us all working since 7am.

Probably because, its begun raining in Pollachi 60 kms away..and we at Palani are partaking its blessings..

Or probably because I am thrilled..As I have a song on my lip... Kanna dasa's last composition..Kannai kaley maaney..the original of the song I love from Sadma...

The pallavi (beginning verse) has been sent in Roman to me via text msg by Nithyaa..
She has promised to send the whole song.

I shall learn it...Read Roman and sing Tamil.. for my friends.

Even for those who are not here with me in beautiful palani,120 kms from Coimbatore..

Thank you life..
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