When I woke up...

As people get together to travel...I wonder why they met..

Is this the purpose to their meeting or could it be another day in their purposeful life...

Another day...Or A day in their life...

Much like each day in my life, whether crying over spilt milk when I was a child or doing so now over a proverbial one...I know each day has had a purpose...

I may not have seen it then...in my carefree childhood,when my mother used to hold my face and comb my hair,nor do I many a time manage to see it now,when the insurance policies say I am older...

But this morning as I woke up at 3 am...mind buzzing with ideas for the trip that I have planned...I felt awkward...Very awkward...Even sheepish...I am up at 3am...

Not to write the script I say I want to..Nor to exercise...But to jot down some notes for the trip next week...

And probably to resolve...Once and for all...

There is a purpose to all that I do...

I might not be seeing it..But it is there...

I am free...

I will live this moment fully too...Like a man...Not a sheep !

I woke up up at 3am today to jot down some ideas...

This is one of them !

You have an awesome day my friend...WHATEVER YOU DID...WHENEVER YOU WOKE UP !

Cheerios !

Design of life...

Hey..wrote this piece for a journal.

Life for me has been an amazing series of episodes,which have happened when they did.


Clearly,there is a plan...

And all that I need to do,is stop coming in the way of fulfilling it.

I have discovered,that failure and success are but expressions of our judgment,made in the narrow context of immediate wants and needs...

These perceived failures and successes give rise to AHAM...



My AHAM...plays out in various forms..ARROGANCE, HOPELESSNESS, JEALOUSY, RAGE...



Life ironically pays no heed...It keeps flowing...takes its course...inspite of me carrying my baggage of AHAM..It just makes my journey tedious and tiring...

On the other hand,when in moments I manage to flow with life,traveling light,giving a miss to my AHAM...The journey is full of joy,peace and bliss,like how I want my life to be.


A friend of mine shared,'The road is my destination" is what Chilean Highway truckers who spend their life driving up and down Route5 ,the longest highway in the country write on the back of their truck...


I share with you one "millimeter stone" during my drive through highway life...

Since my school days I was clear that I loved acting.

Encouraged by my parents,I participated in theater workshops for children,was doing plays with eminent directors and even traveling to perform...

School plays gave way to productions with professionally trained groups by the time I was studying History in college.

The three college years saw me spending all my post college hours( from 12noon to nearly midnight)with my theater group...rehearsing, and watching plays and films,engaging in discussions,reading classic scripts of films and plays,theater games,working on voice,diction...


I had found my calling...ACTING...I loved it.I was enjoying each moment as I edged towards my goal of joining the National School Of Drama (N.S.D.)

Nothing could keep me away...My parents were supportive,my peers were encouraging,I was preparing for the entrance...Plays,literature,

films,discussions...

And then it happened...I was thrown out of my group.

The group which gave me my existence,my base,my training would have no more of me...I was out.

I was hurt,angry upset and completely vindictive to the point of self destruct...

I said I will never act again and started assisting behind the camera...

This continued for a year...I assisted noted TV producer Vinod dua and documentary maker Mike pandey.

During this time I set my eyes on the Jamia Miliya and its latest addition the course in Mass communication.

My watching numerous films,working with eminent news producers and extensive work in post production gave me a treasure of experience which made my getting admission an absolute walk over.

The first was a written exam which required us to watch a film and answer some questions about the content and the way it was made...This was a basic test to weed out anyone who did not have any interest or had no aptitude towards cinema.

The next was the gruel ling interview with an eminent panel in the form a workshop...This was the crunch test which was to separate the wheat from the chaff to gain entry into the institute.

I was confident in my preparation and my peers and bosses whom I worked with,gave me glowing letters of reference on the basis of how I had worked with them.

The preliminary exam was a cakewalk.

We were shown a film I had seen before,the questions were very simple and I answered with flourish.

Now it was the interview which stood between me and admission and my future as a television producer of shows.

The plan was that we,a group of fellow aspirants would go to Jamia, collect the results of the preliminary test and then go and watch a film and have a discussion on it as a mock for the final interview.


The plan was not to be.

The result showed I had failed in the preliminary basic test,which was meant to test the basic knowledge and aptitude towards films.

I could not believe my eyes..Nor could anyone for whom I had worked with or known me...

Till today I do not know how I failed in that basic test..

But I know I got back to acting,was amongst the 18 selected amidst hundreds who had applied for the NSD..

Today I have made a proffession out of my passion..I spend day in and out with my first love...acting.

There was someone or something 24 years back,which thwarted my desire to self destruct,to choose another profession not because I liked it,but because I was angry with some people.


Over the years I am now consistently present to a design...a design for me and for others around me...

And ever so much I realize each day,I am actually a conduit to fulfill...what I am to fulfill.

I choose it.


Thank you for being with me..

Kodai rain finds Palani

The killing in a principality,led the world to the first of the world wars...The atomic bomb ended the next,but telescoped the reach of an instrument for terror.
The potent H1N1 made sure that even a sneeze had an impact on three quarters of the world...A demolition of two towers in a city hyphenated a "pre and post" that day world..And a volcano with an unpronounceable name, from a country with no known clout,made sure that Billions were lost even without a Maddock Ponzi..

Over the ages,we have seen the catastrophic effects of happenings in one part, impacting far beyond geographical boundaries...

But we have also been blessed by natures bounty...happenings and peoples contribution, far from us..

The rich thinking of spartan yogis of the east have inspired the western civilizations to think beyond the material..The flight of imagination of Greek philosophers when brought to reality by two brothers has flown Drs in the southern hemisphere and put a Hubble in space..
An Albanian found Sainthood in caring for the inconsolably suffering in Asia..While a rich harvest of affordable technology from Asia made the web,truly world wide and available for all..

But for today,I am referring to a much smaller footprint of cause and effect..

A smaller foot print but with joy no less..

Last night it rained in Kodaikanal..and some of that rain found Palani..They know it in these parts as,Kodai rain..

Rain which falls in the cooler climes of elevated Kodai..cools the hot dry plains of Palani..

Small joys...but shared in this beautiful world of ours..

So..Which palani is your rain finding ?

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Distant rain & melody,in Roman.

As we readied ourselves for the night sequence in the bungalow..Our director Jawahar set up a crane shot to capture the exterior lit up for th wedding song, against the blue of the gathering Dusk...
The humidity and heat of the day had given way to a gentle breeze..cool by palani standards.
Since the facade of the house was to be shot,the vanity vans were moved out..so we found sanctuary on the terrace..

And it was here that Nithiyaa Ravindhar sang the songs..

Working over the years in different languages, interacting with cultures variant from any which I may call mine and participating in togetherness with people I meet so often for the 'first' time..I am completely and totally at home,being the outsider.

The love and generosity of my co actors,technicians,the support staff and the extra ordinary creative minds I have met over the last 9yrs of working in various languages,has humbled me.

They have enveloped me as one of their own...who doesn't speak their language.

They have given me amazing roles,many have got for me home cooked food,and books and toys for my child...I also got the opportunity to see nooks of the south,which only a film unit can think of travelling to..and they introduced me to poetry too..from the classic two lined verses from Thirukuraal, to lyrics of Kannadaasa's songs immortalized in classic films, to th poignant word sketches of the popular people's poet Vairamuthhu..

And songs of the Maestro... Illayiraja..from films I had not heard of,or knew about only from their hindi remakes..

Today was such an evening..even as the sky darkened and lightning bolts streaked in the distance..Sitting on the terrace of the shooting bungalow in Palani..Nithiyaa sang compositions of Raja..a lot of them..and then she sang the tamil original of my favourite from the hindi remake Sadma..Surmai ankhion mein..

We will be shooting till late tnite..Its a wedding song..

Dancers flail arms and pump torsos in unision.. there is bonhomie,Cheer and laughter in the air inspite of us all working since 7am.

Probably because, its begun raining in Pollachi 60 kms away..and we at Palani are partaking its blessings..

Or probably because I am thrilled..As I have a song on my lip... Kanna dasa's last composition..Kannai kaley maaney..the original of the song I love from Sadma...

The pallavi (beginning verse) has been sent in Roman to me via text msg by Nithyaa..
She has promised to send the whole song.

I shall learn it...Read Roman and sing Tamil.. for my friends.

Even for those who are not here with me in beautiful palani,120 kms from Coimbatore..

Thank you life..
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Distant rain and melody... in Roman.

As we readied ourselves for the night sequence in the bunglow..Our director Jawahar set up a crane shot to capture the exterior lit up for th wedding song, against the blue of the gathering Dusk...
The humidity and heat of the day had given way to a gentle breeze..cool by palani standards.
Since the facade of the house was to be shot,the vanity vans were moved out..so we found sanctuary on the terrace..

And it was here that Nitya Ramchander sang the songs..

Working over the years in different languages, interacting with cultures variant from any which I may call mine and participating in togetherness with people I meet so often for the 'first' time..I am completely and totally at home,being the outsider.

The love and generosity of my co actors,technicians,the support staff and the extra ordinary creative minds I have met over the last 9yrs of working in various languages,has humbled me.

They have enveloped me as one of their own...who doesn't speak their language.

They have given me amazing roles,many have got for me home cooked food,and books and toys for my child...I also got the opportunity to see nooks of the south,which only a film unit can think of travelling to..and they introduced me to poetry too..from the classic two lined verses from Thirukuraal, to lyrics of Kannadaasa's songs immortalized in classic films, to th poignant word sketches of the popular people's poet Vairamuthhu..

And songs of the Maestro... Illayiraja..from films I had not heard of,or knew about only from their hindi remakes..

Today was such an evening..even as the sky darkened and lightning bolts streaked in the distance..Sitting on the terrace of the shooting bungalow in Palani..Nitya sang compositions of Raja..a lot of them..and then she sang the tamil original of my favourite from the hindi remake Sadma..Surmai ankhion mein..

We will be shooting till late tnite..Its a wedding song..

Dancers flail arms and pump torsos in unision.. there is bonhomie,Cheer and laughter in the air inspite of us all working since 7am.

Probably because, its begun raining in Pollachi 60 kms away..and we at Palani are partaking its blessings..

Or probably because I am thrilled..As I have a song on my lip... Kanna dasa's last composition..Kannai kaley maaney..the original of the song I love from Sadma...

The pallavi (beginning verse) has been sent in Roman to me via text msg by Nitya..
She has promised to send the whole song.

I shall learn it and sing it for my friends..

Even those who are not here with me in beautiful palani,120 kms from Coimbatore..

Thank you life..
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Wind Mills etc on the Road to Coimbatore..

Like ever so often,the promised wrap for the day was delayed by an hour..Where I had planned to do the 120km from Palani to Coimbatore in a leisurely 3hrs with a stopover at some 'Hi class Pure Veg' eatery like Gayathri or Gandirams for a vadai and filtered caffeine..Now it is scramble to do the journey in 2hrs,while trailing a yellow lorry,chocker filled with emaciated cows,standing in files of 8 and rows of 5..definitely abbatoir headed..
Yet as we overtake the death row vehicle of these two horned animals..against the crimson sky appears a forest of Huge...Giant...seemingly three horned cyclops ..Windmills !
They turn..Majestically ,Noiselessly..towering over the tallest of the coconut palms that dot the fields..They are generating power,green power,harnessing the bounty of breeze on the plains near the foothills of the Nilgiris..
A few less trees shall be cut,a smaller carbon footprint shall be left and the ozone will have one less perforation to heal thanks to this green project in the hinterlands of Tamilnadu..

AAL IJ WELL...but for the cows, standing 8 to a file and 5 to a row in the yellow lorry we overtook enroute to catch the 9pm from Coimbatore for a 4 day climax to be shot in Chennai ..Its 715pm,we have 60km to go..We are doing good.

Aren't we ? ? ?
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But can't upload pix frm the Cell !

The temple town of Palani is sleepy.. as sleepy as any town can get..Seems even more so,since it is not the pilgimage season..The forlorn arterial which connects the Vel's court Hotel rear gate to th highway, has a quaint tea kiosk with discoloured blue tables and thatched walls and roof..You get Kaapi and Chaa from 6am,but Mottay(egg) dosai will only be ready at 9am. . As for now,I await my shot..have to cmplt my scene by 530pm..then the drive to Coimbtr,for the 9pm Jet to Chennai..
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Palani..Heat and good work

As Rajesh Lingam enters the vanity van to explain the scene for the day..I send the first post via email ! Does it work ? Cheers from Palani 100 km from Coimbatore !
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